“Remember to get your loved one something special this Valentine’s Day.”

“Hey, Mister Ad Announcer, what if I don’t have anyone?”

“Sorry, Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for single people.”

“Oh good. So I don’t have to celebrate it.”

“That’s not true! Anyone can celebrate the day! What about your students? They deserve a Valentine’s Day party!”

“Why, random married person whose opinion I didn’t ask for?”

“Because it’s fun!”

“Being forced to hand out cheesy heart-shaped valentines to people you don’t even like is fun?”

“What about the games?”

“What games? I have never heard of Valentine’s Day games, except of the adult variety.”

“You’re very cynical.”

“Years of having no valentine will do that do you.”

“You’ve never had a valentine?!? Poor thing!”

“Except my mom. She used to get me little gifts…and my dad inadvertently took my sister and I out on his date with my mom one year. Long story.”


“Hey, you’re actually right: Valentine’s Day can be fun!”


“…Excuse me, I’m going to see if I can get a free steak dinner again this year.”


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