“Remember to get your loved one something special this Valentine’s Day.”
“Hey, Mister Ad Announcer, what if I don’t have anyone?”
“Sorry, Valentine’s Day isn’t meant for single people.”
“Oh good. So I don’t have to celebrate it.”
“That’s not true! Anyone can celebrate the day! What about your students? They deserve a Valentine’s Day party!”
“Why, random married person whose opinion I didn’t ask for?”
“Because it’s fun!”
“Being forced to hand out cheesy heart-shaped valentines to people you don’t even like is fun?”
“What about the games?”
“What games? I have never heard of Valentine’s Day games, except of the adult variety.”
“You’re very cynical.”
“Years of having no valentine will do that do you.”
“You’ve never had a valentine?!? Poor thing!”
“Except my mom. She used to get me little gifts…and my dad inadvertently took my sister and I out on his date with my mom one year. Long story.”
“…”
“Hey, you’re actually right: Valentine’s Day can be fun!”
“…”
“…Excuse me, I’m going to see if I can get a free steak dinner again this year.”