Pedants and Platitudes: Valentine’s Edition

"Remember to get your loved one something special this Valentine's Day." "Hey, Mister Ad Announcer, what if I don't have anyone?" "Sorry, Valentine's Day isn't meant for single people." "Oh good. So I don't have to celebrate it." "That's not true! Anyone can celebrate the day! What about your students? They deserve a Valentine's Day …

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A Guide to Self-Preservation*

The key to self-preservation is not to look at his azure eyes or his aquiline nose or his lips--hell, just don't look. Chewing your finger only solves half of the problem. Your mouth might be distracted, but your mind is still engaged. Doodling is rather preoccupying...You drew another heart, didn't you? Damn it, you did! …

Coffee*

He'san      acquiredtaste,    like a strong, black coffee: bold and hot, with an acerbic   aftertaste, prone to scald if taken in too quickly. The kind   of coffee that people pour in copious amounts of sugar and  creamer, in the deluded hope of masking the bitterness. Butno amount of      sweetness, usually of the mollycoddling and …

Pedants and Platitudes: Christmas Edition

"It wouldn't be Christmas without snow." You heard it here first, Australia and any other place south of the Equator. You can't celebrate Christmas. You are snow-less and Christmas-less. Buh bye. "Christmas is a time to be with family and loved ones." I regret to inform all those children living in orphanages that you can't …

Music

She composes a symphony, not with the dots and lines of musical notes but with the dots and lines of letters. The plot is the melody, consistent throughout. Themes pop up at intervals like recurring motifs, reminding the reader of what is at stake... Read the rest of the poem in my anthology Ephemeral Impressions: …

Art

She splashes the page with vibrant colors, blues of melancholia, greens of envy, reds of passion. She forms each paragraph with the utmost precision, a balancing act of carefully placed adjectives, nouns, and verbs. Each word, each letter, each line, each squiggle, each dot, is meticulously laid to create the perfect image.... For full poem, …

Pedants and Platitudes Part I

"You'll find your husband as soon as you stop looking for him." "You can't wait around for your knight in shining armor to ride up. You have to actively search for him." "Just be yourself. Let him see the real you." "Make sure you always look your best. Men don't like ungroomed girls. And always …